Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Confession Time - Gotta Love It

Well since my ridiculous long break from writing, you might not be surprised to find that I have grown into more of a health nut AND sweet tea is still the bomb. I've also been growing in my new life!!! There are three enormous battles I've been fighting and am seeing victory every single day, learning how to be not-like-me anymore, but like Christ instead.

Here they are...

If I could describe myself in one word that completed all of me, it would be "rebellious". Even though I am sure we all struggle with this, I still hate to admit it. Psalm 68:6 has become the lamp to light my path on this subject.
"God setteth the solitary in families: he bringeth out those which are bound with chains: but the rebellious dwell in a dry land."

Even more hard to admit, I'm not very diligent. Not good at being consistent. I keep my room clean for 2 days and then let it get out of control again (I'm 20 years old for crying out loud!). I will start a new project and sometimes don't finish it, usually because it's not happening as fast as I hoped or it's not becoming what I wanted it to be. There are plenty of verses about diligence, like this one.
"He becometh poor that dealeth with a slack hand: but the hand of the diligent maketh rich." Proverbs 10:4.
Bottom line concerning diligence: You can't be successful without it.

We can always learn more about this. I'm learning that I CAN truly forgive those who hurt me (instead of just SAYING I forgive them and not really meaning it) and God CAN show me how to truly and dearly love them. I was never able to forgive until I truly understood the forgiveness of God for the first time. What He forgave me for was a far great wrong than what I could ever forgive anyone for. I have had some awful things said about me and done to me (just like every other human being) and won't go into any details whatsoever, because none of the offences committed against me were, and never will be, as severe as the offences I have committed against God and His Son.
This topic can go a very, veryyyyy long way. But for the most part, I'm telling you people, forgiveness is freedom. This will change your life.
"And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." Ephesians 4:32



Thursday, January 24, 2013

New Beginnings - 2012

I got saved. I can't explain it any other way. All the other things I've ever written, all the passion I've ever lived with for God, life, and other people...I have found that as deep as it felt, it was all surface. It is possible to know so, so very much about Him and never meet Him. But I met Him. I'm still in awe of what has happened to me!

I'm writing today to let everyone know that as of September 20, 2012, I was no longer the same person. Not sure who's reading, since I haven't posted in almost a year....sorryyyy! But anyway...

My parents raised me in the knowledge of God and all that He is. All He has done. The story of Jesus Christ...how He died for me, rose for me, lives for me and is coming back for God's children someday. I have lived with the hope of something far greater than this world can ever offer. Dad and Mom brought me up in that hope. Taught me the stories and displayed faith through the lives they have lived. In the South, getting "saved" is the same thing as being "born again". In John 3, Jesus tells the Pharisee who came to see Him by night, "Ye must be born again." Born of water through a mother, and born of the Spirit through God's Son.
I feel much like that Pharisee, Nicodemus. Going to see Jesus by night, trying to hide the fact that he knew he needed Jesus, that he didn't have it all figured out. Hypocrite. Aren't we all? But I would hate to die as one. Since I grew up in a Christian home and could quote Bible stories backwards, it might not be surprising to you that I believe in Jesus. That I have followed His ways...or so it seemed that way to me. Some of you reading this may think me very fortunate to have grown up in such a good home. To know of the deep love of God in giving His only Son for my life's sake. I'm glad I grew up in this home. I knew all the stories, I knew the Bible verses...but they were never completely real to me. Now they are. The Bible now has true significance in my life. But not only that.
I love God. And Jesus!!! Never loved anyone more. Have you ever heard the story of the little girl who has tons of pretty dolls to play with, but the ragged, torn doll is the one she loves the most? She holds it close to her everywhere she goes, and strokes its tangled hair. Well, that's me. I was just a good-for-nothing sinner. A miserable creature. And God wanted me to be His. I have never felt so loved in my life than the day I met Jesus.

God made me completely new that day. Its the greatest thing that's ever happened to me! Best day of my life! After calling a friend that day to tell her the news, I also learned from her shared testimony about what had happened to me.

 2 Corinthians 4:3-4, "But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost. In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them."

I had been blinded by the devil. He is definitely the Father of lies. I'm so glad that God's light is greater than Satan's darkness. I was praying and reading John 14 in my Bible that Thursday morning, on September 20, and God's light shone down into my darkness. I have always had to put up such a fight to focus on the Word of God, mainly because I always felt that it never fully clicked with me. I had never "got it". And I had also been struggling with that common doubt that a lot of "Christian" people seem to deal with. The "Am I really saved?" feeling. Its a sick feeling. I had felt that pulling and tugging at my heart, which is a perfect way to describe how it felt to have the Holy Spirit convicting me of my lost heart and mind. And yes...I had lost my mind. Lost it to lies and confusion. Then, in a moment when God knew I couldn't turn away anymore, He whispered John 14:6 to me, "Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life; no man cometh unto the Father but by me." And I wasn't lost anymore from that moment on. It finally hit me - the Truth! I finally got it! I smiled and cried and thanked God for the only Way to be with Him. My unbelieving and darkened heart had light poured into it. And now I can rest in my eternal Life!

So from now on, everything written here will be by a true child of God :)