I can look up and see a heart-shaped ray of sun peeking through the leaves of our big oak. Now that's His love. And I feel it every time pain cuts its deepest in this life. And every day as I realize more and more that it's not what I say but what I do that matters most. I have a thing for finding hearts everywhere I look. And finding the clock just at the right time to make a wish (11:11, 4:44, &c.). God is always pouring out His love to me in little ways that most people would brush off and go about their days.... on and on and on.... never noticing His gifts that none of us deserve. Every day, in every way, even in the times when I feel He's not listening, I know that He's repeatedly saying and trying to show me... saying "I love you."
"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variablenes, neither shadow of turning." James 1:17
Does He still feel the nails every time I fail? "I love you" written in red - written in His blood. Jesus' blood. Precious gift, precious love. And the more I see how horrid I am, and I see me, who Jesus died for.... how could He see so much in me? Why does He love me so much? Seriously - WHY!? I am greatful.... humbled. His love draws me. The more worthless I feel, the more I feel His love. It wraps itself into my soul, weaving every gentle thread of lovingkindness into my hard heart every day. And when I push it away, He plunges me with all my hardness into the deep luscious waters of His grace. I could never ask for more. I never knew a Love like this existed. And He's mine.... for eternity.